*Hung Up* at Work
What’s worse is that a client had just requested some of my time by e-mail, and I responded by typing the following: “Call me any time tomorrow afternoon. I will be chained to my desk trying to get something done.”
I did not mean for this desk chaining to happen, but alas, I’m me, and therefore, it did.
I was wearing a sundress, standard work attire for me in summer, regardless of its lack of professionalism and age inappropriateness. This white frock has a zip-up back with the standard hook-and-eye closure at the top of the zipper, which hit the upper middle of my back.
Concentrating feverishly on my work, I suddenly craved a glass of water. Only, when I tried to stand up, I couldn’t. My hook had grabbed the back of my mesh chair and was stuck there.
Trying to stand up meant dragging the chair with me in an awkward dance of gawkiness. No matter how I contorted myself, I couldn’t reach the hook. First, I tried one hand and then the other, wrenching my neck in the process. If I moved forward, the mesh came with me, the hook twisting at varied angles such that I could never tell exactly WHICH way it should point to disengage. I tried using both hands at once, and couldn’t grab anything at all.
For almost ten minutes, I reached, stretched, strained, struggled, cursed, swore, screamed, pulled, wiggled, mashed, pretzeled, and pushed the sodding hook. I think my entire life flashed before my eyes during those few minutes of my intense groping clumsiness.
Sweaty and still attached, I had one final dreaded thought – I was going to have to call MTM at work to come and dislodge the stupid thing. And, he was going to laugh at me for days and days and days, justifiably. All because I typed the phrase “chained to my desk.”
When I had totally given up, I had one last idea. Unzipping my dress and taking it off would at least save me from calling MTM and hearing his deep, manly laughter. With shooting pains in my neck, I managed to get the zipper about half-way down. Then, suddenly, with no warning or struggle, the hook popped away from the chair.
I was free.
At least for thirty minutes until I was stuck to my chair. Again.