He Worships at the Altar of the Boob
As a guide son, you are flawless, that requisite dose of captivating cuteness mixed with a heaping helping of “I know exactly how to get you to do whatever I want.” Even if it is rock you for an hour (me) or carry you around in circles until you fall asleep on a shoulder (MTM.) We are not baby people. We do not typically do these things.
But, we are Cooper people.
Here are the things we learned from meeting you:
1. You like to lie on your back and wiggle, free and clear of any encumbrance. Perhaps this is typical baby behavior, or maybe it is just your evidenced glee at being released from the jerking ministrations of me or MTM. I think you laughed for several minutes running, staring up at me from your back, and I don’t know if it was because I make genuinely funny faces or if you were saying “I am SO HAPPY you stopped trying to cuddle me and put me down.”
2. If you are ever constipated, I am the cure. Me. Your name for me will probably be Ex-Lax Lady, or maybe Correctol Mommy if you swing in that direction. I think you pooped your pants almost every time you were transferred to me. In fact, my first foray into holding you caused you to relieve yourself after a 72 hour dry spell. Dang. I’m good.
3. You like some boob, and you’re not picky. You stuck your whole arm into my dress more than once. Poor MTM didn’t know what to do when you tried to burrow your way into his shirt. I tried to excuse your behavior by telling your violated guide father this is just what babies do, even though I have no freaking clue what babies do.
4. I will never understand what it is like to be a parent, how to nurture and grow a person from seed to adulthood when all one really wants to do is stop time, capture random moments and freeze them into a collection of things they can revisit whenever they want until infinity. Knowing what it is like to gaze into your two-month-old eyes looking up at me, realizing that the next time I hold you won’t be that newborn-baby intimate – that’s tough. Don’t misunderstand me. I can’t wait to see all the variations of you: the sounds of your voice as your grow, the colors of your hair, the opinions you form and the interests you have. I don’t want to stunt you in infancy, to leave you tiny and helpless.
But, I know I will always long for the time when I held you. And, you looked up at me from the cradle of my arms. And, you smiled.
Too Much is Just Enough: Treasured Moments