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Must Be Some Serious Semen

A long walk is a struggle with the boredom that comes from listening to the noise of my own brain. Yesterday, I did my first Natchez Trace length daily walk. Almost fifteen miles – after an hour-plus power yoga session. (I swear, if my forty-something body doesn’t shed some blubber, my metabolism must have stopped.)

Anyway.

When I took a potty break, I whipped out my iPhone and scrolled through Google Plus. (Because, I’m telling you, the funniest stuff is always on Google Plus.)

I had no problem trekking eight more miles after seeing this:

masturbation notice umassI laughed my way back home.

A couple of pictures from the loveliness that was Charleston, South Carolina yesterday.

ravenel bridge

king street charleston

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen online lately? Please share links in your comments. I need more walk entertainment.

82 Comments Post a comment
  1. What are they feeding those boys!

    And kind of surprised there isn’t a corresponding warning to the co-eds about this substance they might come in contact with.

    January 10, 2014
  2. Cootchie Mama, you always put a smile on my face.

    January 10, 2014
  3. I wish I had so ething to share but it all went down the drain already…

    January 10, 2014
  4. Well, since you asked…..

    Just saw this little “it’s your money” article yesterday: http://cnsnews.com/news/article/eric-scheiner/feds-fund-validation-penis-measuring-tool-custom-fit-condoms

    I’d laugh, except that I want to cry when I see how the dollars just dribble away….mmmmm, I probably should reconsider that phrase.

    January 10, 2014
  5. Power yoga AND 15 miles? That’s awesome! If I find something funnier than semen down the drain, I’ll come back and post a link.

    January 10, 2014
    • That’s crazy is what it is, but I walked to yoga today and made myself do it.

      January 10, 2014
  6. You are a warrior, Andra. Metabolism will catch up soon.

    January 10, 2014
  7. Oh, my! THIS from my alma mater – NO LESS!!! Mr. Brickhouse and I both attended UMASS Amherst and I can guarantee you, we never saw such sign. Mind you, that was 20 years ago and maybe the pipes were better at handling semen, then. OR, perhaps semen has changed over the years – kind of like Semen on Steroids! πŸ™‚

    January 10, 2014
    • I wondered about changes myself. I mean, in a public shower? Ick.

      January 10, 2014
      • My son informed me that these are being posted all over the place – at his college too. πŸ™‚ It’s spreading like crabs!

        January 10, 2014
  8. Oh man! Must be all those growth hormones in food that’s doin’ it. πŸ˜‰

    Wow. You are doing awesome on your walking!!! Go, Andra!
    Wish I could find the link to the pictures my niece sends me. I laughed at a picture of a piece of steak which had the caption: “Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.”

    January 10, 2014
  9. Wow. Hair ain’t got nothin’ on that spooge.

    And, 15 miles? Zounds, girl.

    January 10, 2014
    • 15 miles, 6 days a week starting March 1. Training now, and wondering what I’ve gotten myself into.

      January 10, 2014
  10. So funny! I’ll laugh all the way through my workout now. πŸ™‚ Your photographs of Charleston are beautiful, it’s nice to see the bright blue sky again.

    January 10, 2014
  11. Whoever had the balls to write this should have their own show on TV!

    January 10, 2014
  12. tarakianwarrior #

    Drains are not made to handle pee either so I wish people would stop peeing in the shower! Seriously! I am unable to shower after I workout because the stench is overwhelming and I gag, and gag, and gag. Ugh. Seriously people! No semen! No pee!

    January 10, 2014
  13. mtm #

    Could be worse…

    January 10, 2014
  14. Is that the bridge you can see from the Aquarium? We were trying to remember the name of it!

    January 10, 2014
  15. Hahaha! I have a feeling that the roommates will probably come up with a sign of their own pretty soon.

    15 miles of walking and a yoga class?! That’s like 4+ hours of exercise, right? That is awesome and I am totally impressed!

    January 10, 2014
    • With breaks, it was more like 5. I don’t have to be the fastest walker to do this, though I am at a 14.5 minute mile right now.

      Hope you’re feeling stronger and stronger.

      January 11, 2014
  16. Doing my civic duty and translating Andra’s post for family viewing: She meant SEAMAN:

    Yeah, I’m glad I don’t look at your posts on a mobile device while walking, as with my luck, I’d have been headed for a stairway. With assorted desserts:

    Wait. If UMASS teaches science, someone will be smart enough to debunk this one. Er, once they finish up in the shower. They HAVE to teach science. Hell, if there’s a Pixies song about the school, they’d better:

    January 10, 2014
    • Seaman was also the name of Meriwether Lewis’s dog. I’ve always thought that funny, given how much semen those boys sowed on their trek to the Pacific. Ha.

      January 11, 2014
      • Well, I’m psychic then! Woo Hoo. Or just a guy. Annnnd, it didn’t take long for that seed sowing, according to musical history:

        January 11, 2014
  17. 15 miles!? You go, girl.

    And that printout reminded me of the a old joke – What’s long, hard and full of semen? A submarine of course.

    January 10, 2014
  18. hihohiho #

    Your walking is really inspiring. As for funny online, just search for Haribo sugar free gummy bears at Amazon. Then read the description, and then the comments. I’m not kidding – sooo funny.

    January 10, 2014
    • Come on out and walk with me any time. One of my routes is across the bridge. None of that today, though, with a tornado warning out for part of it. I stayed in the Hampton Park area.

      January 11, 2014
  19. HAHAHAHA. Where else, if not the showers?! In the top bunk of a very wobbly bed as your roommate grows irate down below?

    January 10, 2014
    • I’m sure many a dude has done it in the top bunk. When you gotta, you gotta.

      January 11, 2014
  20. You’re totally awesome …15 miles walking AFTER a yoga session with a power before it…AND of course for sharing that little snippet of information…

    I can’t get the visual of gooey drain pipes.. :/
    LOL

    January 10, 2014
    • I meant…I can’t get it out of my head…

      January 10, 2014
    • I’m totally tired today. But this is all worth it. I’m enjoying the process.

      January 11, 2014
  21. q

    January 10, 2014
  22. One of my favorites…

    January 10, 2014
  23. Oh, I have to add one more…my favorite way to improve my French.

    January 10, 2014
    • It was still clever, even though it wasn’t what you meant. πŸ™‚

      January 11, 2014
  24. oops-sorry…it loaded a bad advertisement….

    January 10, 2014
  25. James Moffitt #

    I must say that this is probably the funniest thing I have seen on the Net in some time. I am proud of your determination to do whatever it takes to get ready for your walk. Way to go!!

    January 10, 2014
    • Be proud of me when I finish. Right now, all poor MTM gets to do is listen to me moan and groan. Um, I mean………

      January 11, 2014
      • When I say that I am proud I mean that I am proud of you for having a dream and pursuing it. Doing whatever it takes to be successful at the dream. Does that mean that you will be successful? That remains to be seen. Whether you are or not will not define who you are. What defines you is the effort and courage that you are putting forth to make it happen. πŸ™‚

        January 12, 2014
  26. that is so, so funny. imagine begin the person who had to type that up and post it. your weather looks absolutely beautiful )

    January 10, 2014
    • It was lovely yesterday. Today, we had tornado warnings.

      January 11, 2014
  27. I just love the last line: please see your RA with any questions. How would you like to be the person that has to field questions about that?

    January 10, 2014
    • I wondered what idiot would go to their RA and complain about not being able to masturbate in the shower. I mean, really.

      January 11, 2014
  28. When I was in school there was a wall of showers and no way to pleasure one’s self. Times have changed.

    January 10, 2014
    • I don’t know that times have changed, John. Not in the way you mean.

      January 11, 2014
  29. Your photos are wonderful, Andra. Sorry, though, nothing funny to share today.

    January 10, 2014
  30. That’s my school; not sure if I should be proud that only strong semen go there or not. Now the UMASS mascot makes sense. Go Minutemen !

    January 10, 2014
    • Hahahahahahahahahaha! Thank you for the EXCELLENT laugh.

      January 11, 2014
      • Welcome πŸ™‚

        January 11, 2014
  31. Is your dad working out also, Andra? πŸ™‚ Good for you! You’re going to really be in good shape with all this preparation. I’m very envious. Now it’s true I don’t want to work that hard, but there you go! Hilarious notice, and I can’t imagine being the one to have to write it and post it in the dorms. There must have been plenty of snickering! For some on-line humor I sometimes spend a little time over at “Funny or Die.” There are some jewels over there! Beautiful shots of Charleston! Gorgeous sky!

    January 11, 2014
    • Dad isn’t walking with me. He’s just going with me. I told him he had to work and sell books while I walk. He wasn’t very keen on that, but I think he will come around when I force him to do it. Ha.

      January 11, 2014
  32. Charleston is very appealing, and I haven’t been there. Will have to travel there sometime.

    Hmm, interesting posting. I’m kind of thinking it’s best not said. It was very tough for me to make it through your workout – well in spirit, anyway.

    January 11, 2014
  33. Lovely pics today, Andra! Wonderful light. We don’t have that here. We just have rain.
    Laugh out lout: number 6
    http://distractify.com/fun/the-27-naughtiest-cats-in-the-world-you-wont-believe-what-they-did/

    January 11, 2014
    • Your rain found us today, Kate, but I’m thankful for yesterday. πŸ™‚

      Very, very funny. Thanks for sharing.

      January 11, 2014
  34. What, no messages about going blind or about using up the entire supply and ending up with none? Or sin and fire and brimstone and stuff?
    The obvious rejoinder is that, the showers being where they are, the drains SHOULD have been designed to handle it. Sue the architects/plumbers/suppliers!

    January 12, 2014
  35. Seriously? “Please masturbate in your own room”. I’m embarrassed for that school. But, damn funny! Beautiful photos, Andra.

    January 13, 2014
  36. GEt the hell out of Dodge! But seriously, UMAss should try vinegar. It’s good for everything. ;-). I am now off to see out this picture to post on my own FB page. Being from MA and all.

    January 13, 2014
  37. Did you take those pics with your phone? Because those are some serious sky blues, kiddo. Great pics. Also, semen plus drain hair makes a yucky sort of drain-plugging mortar. However, the sheer audacity of putting that sign up may be rewarded with spiteful pud parties…

    January 16, 2014

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