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A Crack in the Armor

Doesn’t life always happen like this? You’re focused on something. I mean, REALLY lasered in on it. You’ve left all other things behind…….even though those things haven’t forgotten YOU.

Clients: We REALLY want you to do this project for us, Andra. In February.

Me: But—

Clients: We’re great guys, aren’t we?

Client 1: Your fees are fair for what you’ll give us, and—

Client 2: Well, I think you’re expensive, but—

Clients: WE NEED YOU!!

Me: Okay. I must be absolutely finished with this project by February 20………

So, of course, I will be leading their firm retreat on February 21. Mere days before I leave for my Natchez Trace trek.

I. Am. An. IDIOT.

Someone asked me Monday how I multi-task. Well. I’m not sure I do. When I settled into my chair in my first meeting with Client 1 yesterday afternoon, I’m glad I looked down.

Because……..my fly was undone.

With most people, an undone fly means a little exposed cotton. Or maybe silk.

NOT WITH ME. Oh no.

Because I don’t wear……well……..YOU KNOW…….

All I can say is this: when I had to zip up all nonchalant, I was glad I wasn’t a guy.

69 Comments Post a comment
  1. Eeek! And you kept your cool after restoring your warm?
    I can’t believe that they showed that full frontal in the show!
    Reminds me of an occasion, at a time when girls wore stiff petticoats to make dresses stand out, when a guy took the opportunity to zip up in the movies while standing to let one past – and got caught up in the dress. The walk to sort it out in the movie manager’s office, attached in that way, was a real exercise in humiliation!

    February 4, 2014
    • I love that whole image, Col. I’m laughing at the thought of a girl and guy being stuck together at the movies. Ha.

      February 4, 2014
  2. Look at it this way. It is the distraction that will allow you to focus even harder on your real adventure?
    Because it’s early and I’m tired this seems appropriate.

    February 4, 2014
    • It will pay for some of this adventure, so it is a worthy distraction. Plus, this is one of my favorite all-time clients. I couldn’t say no to them. But, I didn’t mean to flash them.

      February 4, 2014
      • It’s the little extras that keep a client happy! 😉

        February 4, 2014
  3. You had me at Frank and Beans! Thanks for the laugh this morning.

    February 4, 2014
  4. LOL! Thanks for giving me a giggle for the day! And good luck with your new project.

    February 4, 2014
    • You’re welcome.

      I’m not saying this project will be easy, but it’s in my wheelhouse.

      February 4, 2014
  5. LOL! But congrats. You’ll get everything done and do it with flair all while going commando.

    February 4, 2014
    • I’ll probably do it with coffee and cursing, but I will get it all done. Ha.

      February 4, 2014
  6. a big morning giggle. No wonder they like you (and you’re not too expensive). 🙂

    February 4, 2014
    • I think the primary reason these (and most) guys like me is because I appreciate guy humor. They don’t worry about offending me.

      February 4, 2014
      • and isn’t having your fly open the epitome of guy humor. 🙂

        February 4, 2014
  7. Thank you for my morning laugh! And a whole new vision for a movie titled “The Fly”.

    I thought we discussed the other day at lunch that you were not supposed to take on any tasks that required your work after mid-February. You are, my dear, a glutton for punishment.

    Now zip up and get to work.

    February 4, 2014
    • I’ve already conducted another client meeting this morning. And, I went to Rotary. And, the chiropractor. And, I was awake the whole time.

      February 4, 2014
  8. There are points in my life I look back at and ask: “How did I DO that?” This may be one of those for you. But it may be a blessing in disguise.

    February 4, 2014
    • I purposely made my life like this for the coming months. I want to be too busy to care about stats and sales and whatnot.

      February 4, 2014
  9. Thanks for making me giggle this morning. 🙂

    February 4, 2014
  10. Ah, yes . . . multitasking. For some unknown reason, I do better under pressure with a full plate. Of course, a full plate can also mean food. Sigh. It’s early and a long, long winter. Forgive me.

    I keep forgetting to ask you if you’ve read Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods?

    February 4, 2014
    • Yes. I read it several years ago. I enjoyed it much more than Wild.

      February 4, 2014
  11. Why multitask? You’re already saving time by not putting on underwear. 🙂

    February 4, 2014
  12. Hence, your blog name! 🙂

    February 4, 2014
  13. Nothing worse than flying open and free where others can see…

    February 4, 2014
    • I always discreetly tell people, but I can understand why that might’ve been awkward in this case.

      February 4, 2014
      • I am having humorous visions of how all this might transpire.

        February 4, 2014
  14. This fly thing is a curse. No way to avoid getting hurt.

    February 4, 2014
    • I have several pairs of pull-on pants for this very reason. Ha.

      February 4, 2014
      • That was gonna be my suggestion — no fly, no worry! 🙂

        WHY did I not see that movie? Laughed long and hard at that clip this morning! (Yes, I’m playing catch-up…haven’t read today’s post yet.) I do like the new appearance on your page, and I continue to speculate about the artwork….

        February 5, 2014
    • You’ve got to see it, Karen. So, so funny.

      February 5, 2014
  15. Wow. That’s hard to play off. I’m sure you handled it with grace.
    Man, what a schedule!!! I get tired just thinking about what February is like for you.

    February 4, 2014
  16. tarakianwarrior #

    Been there, done that. I split my pants out (on the backside) once, and not because I was poured into them, those loose seams you know, you know, the ones that unravel when you least suspect it? You’d think you’d feel a breeze or something….nope…didn’t realize it until the end of the day – hence, no matter what, if you have a bugger hanging out your nose, your pants are unzipped, or your pants are split…no matter what…I’ll tell ya.

    Hang in there Andra. I missed you. Enjoying you being back. 🙂

    February 4, 2014
    • Nobody told you that??????? SERIOUSLY????? I’d probably start spanking a few people for that one.

      February 4, 2014
      • tarakianwarrior #

        Those are the kind of people that would have enjoyed the spankings way too much. When I did confront them (cause that’s just who I am) they all said they didn’t notice…uh, yeah, right. PERVS!

        February 5, 2014
  17. I really hate when business stuff suddenly wants to interfere with the artistical work, and in the worst form for you to reject (they behave nice and such).

    Last week I was sick and 4 people came looking for me to do computer stuff, one came back again on the same day, and I couldnt even get up.

    I kept silent but I thought in my mind:
    “Can you burn a cd?”
    “No! go to hell!”
    (I actually could, but thats another story).

    ————

    Watch out for overwork, normally you dont notice (or accept it) until its too late. Has happened to me lately.

    February 4, 2014
    • I’m really happy to have this work. They’re all great people. I regret the timing, but I’ll do my best job.

      I don’t understand some people, who make everything about their needs, when they can clearly see they need to give a person some space. I’ve worked with many people like that in my career.

      February 4, 2014
  18. Could have been worse: http://youtu.be/-xrRWYouKy0. 🙂

    February 4, 2014
    • But those guys didn’t see pubes. I mean, I HOPE they didn’t see pubes.

      February 4, 2014
  19. I would have caved, too. Also, I like your new site design. Maybe there’s room for a sketch of an unzipped fly up there with the bullets and dragonflies in the header? 😉

    February 4, 2014
    • I’m sure Helen, my so-much-more-successful-and-talented-than-me illustrator, would love to draw that. One of my friends actually told me it looked like boobies and penises, because, you know, she knows me………..

      February 4, 2014
      • I thought kudzu and mosquitoes, interspersed with those bullets and shell casings . . . No?

        February 5, 2014
      • Sounds like a good friend. The best friends always point out genitalia wherever they see them.

        February 5, 2014
    • It will all make sense in a bit, Karen. Jennie, that’s very true.

      February 5, 2014
  20. No flies on you, Andra. 🙂

    February 4, 2014
    • That needs to be my motto, Nancy. “No Flies on Me.”

      February 4, 2014
  21. wow, what a post – full of angst, regret, humor, and zipper mayhem. you were mulit-tasking and didn’t even know it )

    February 4, 2014
    • Carnell was over here tonight, and I came up with a whole new post while in multi-tasking mode. He’s going to LOVE being a part of that one in a few days……….

      February 4, 2014
  22. “Your fees are fair for what you’ll give us” – hahahaha. I’m glad you managed to zip up before they noticed, at least I hope they didn’t. I had when I forget to zip.

    February 4, 2014
    • *hate* when I forget to zip, and when I leave typos in comments.

      February 4, 2014
    • I took that one as a compliment.

      February 4, 2014
      • I think my mind was in the gutter… I’m sure they were expecting a peep show.

        February 5, 2014
  23. If you were to slap client number 2, I doubt anyone would think anything of it.

    February 4, 2014
    • Maybe I have slapped him………..Hmmmmmmm………I’ll have to think on that one. I’ve known him for more than a decade. We’re friends, and I think he is one of the most hilarious people I know, in a dry sort of way. He said all kinds of jewels in our meeting yesterday, and I was dying to tell someone how funny they were, and I couldn’t. Sigh. I’ll just have to work them into a character someday.

      February 4, 2014
  24. ‘Tis a terrible feeling when you realise yer fly’s undone, Andra. At times, I’m so concerned mine is opening itself, I constantly check to make sure all is safe… but in the checking, I tend to loosen the grip somewhat (accidentally, obviously!) – and next time I check, it’s all open. Hoiked up again in a split second, but that then gives me more reason to check. A bit like a self fulfilling prophecy perhaps.

    February 4, 2014
    • I’m usually pretty put-together, Tom. I can’t remember the last time that’s happened to me. Must be the nature of where I am right now.

      Perhaps the solution for you is elastic waist pants……………never mind………..bad look on anyone…………

      February 4, 2014
  25. You may have given your clients a little added bonus, Andra…unwittingly, of course! 🙂 Yes, you’re probably a little crazy to be so tightly booked, but it is a good opportunity, and I would think you’re so excited about your plans maybe concentrating on the business at hand will ease you towards the big day!

    February 5, 2014
    • After I get through the next few days, things should get a little less, um, hairy. 🙂

      February 5, 2014
  26. Jen #

    You are manifesting abundance somehow… your life sounds lovely to the 9 to 5 er.

    February 5, 2014
  27. Hahahaha! I think we all know why the clients hired you now…

    As for getting everything done, sometimes the more you have on your plate, the easier it is to prioritize, focus, and just knock it all out. Plus, now when you hit Natchez you’ll be so excited just to have some damn peace and quiet — you’ll appreciate the journey so much more now.

    February 5, 2014
    • It’s one reason why I loaded myself up. I don’t want to obsess about the walking and the book stuff and all that. If I have too much time to sit still, that’s exactly what I’ll do. Good perspective.

      February 5, 2014
  28. To err with said Zipper is human. To overlook is divine 🙂

    If you slap client #1 please film it. I have a post about slapping and I still love it !

    February 7, 2014
  29. Andra! I thought you wore dresses. And speaking of dresses… YOU CHANGED YOUR BANNER PHOTO!!! In fact you made some other changes here… I love your new ‘author’ photo. But the Banner Photo with you in the Cress… I loved it, and it’s gone.

    February 8, 2014
  30. These are the things we discover at the worst times. But when it’s not me it’s kind of funny.

    February 12, 2014
    • After some time passes, it’s usually funny even when it’s me. 🙂

      February 12, 2014

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