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Yummy Kisser Valentine Voodoo Contest

Maybe everything can be reduced to voodoo. I used to think love was something I could only achieve by poking things.

I mean…..


Poking pins in my Love Voodoo Doll. After all, who doesn’t want a yummy kisser?

yummy kisser

Voodoo Lou kept me tickled through each depressing love situation. I followed his instructions and attached my doll to the end of a broom and swept my walkway. I wanted my intended to break up with his girlfriend.

He didn’t.

So, I strapped a picture of myself to my voodoo doll’s head for nine days, hoping it would make my intended notice me.

Still nothing.

I left the voodoo doll in my gym bag to give the guy bad breath.

Nothing worked.Β I put my little Voodoo Lou in the drawer and forgot about him. When I least expected it, MTM found me. Without the help of Voodoo Lou.

Or, maybe he helped me after all. Voodoo Lou made me laugh. A lot. He forced me out of a rut and bent my mind in a different direction. I stood a little straighter. Walked around with my lips curled in a smile.

Maybe a new Voodoo Lou could help someone else. One of your friends, perhaps. (Because none of us need romantic help, do we, Dear Readers?)

I will give one brand new Voodoo Lou Love Voodoo Kit to the most original Valentine spell. I’ve given you several examples in the post. Please cast your spell in a comment. Maybe it will bewitch me, and you’ll win.

Comments close at midnight, Eastern Standard Time. The winner will be announced on Friday, February 7. Good luck!

47 Comments Post a comment
  1. February 6, 2014
  2. Dear Voodoo Lou: I keep wandering around the grocery store with my shopping cart, searching for the perfect victim….ummmm, I mean cute guy. I need you to help me find him so I can accidentally ram into…ummmm, I mean bump into him in the wine aisle and have a good conversation about which red goes well with a spaghetti dinner for two. Please bewitch me with your presence so I can find an MTM. Sincerely and with love…

    February 6, 2014
    • I wonder what Voodoo Lou has to say about this request………if you ram into him, you can at least try to get the required personal effect to stick on the doll. πŸ™‚

      February 6, 2014
      • Ask Voodoo Lou if a few threads from a pair of tight jeans is on the required personal effects list or if I need to carry a DNA swab with me.

        February 6, 2014
  3. VooDoo Lou?!?/#@% I feel like such a pincushion.

    February 6, 2014
  4. No VooDoo. With StewDoo and BrewDoo I’m rollin’ in HooDoo.

    February 6, 2014
    • After reading several Sandman Slim books, I know all about hoodoo. πŸ™‚

      February 6, 2014
  5. Here you go! A spell of yearning …

    A bit of stuffing, pulled from the chest,
    so they feel empty, even at best.
    A hint of cologne, sprayed in the air
    so they turn and look, as if I were there,
    And last but not least, placed next to a book,
    to hint at new chapters, if they care to look.
    That is the spell, my Valentine’s voodoo –
    with not a push of the pin, but a turn of the screw.

    February 6, 2014
  6. Jen #

    Reminds me of the old days browsing the book table at Urban Outfitters. I didn’t rely on Voodoo Lou but I had a book of spells or two…

    February 6, 2014
    • Urban Outfitters is a great place to find off-the-wall things, isn’t it? I found the best card for MTM there a few months ago.

      February 6, 2014
  7. February 6, 2014
    • Another excellent song about spells, Nancy. I searched more recent music history and couldn’t come up with two that are nearly as good as the ones posted here.

      February 6, 2014
  8. Just hum this whenever you’re near: πŸ™‚

    February 6, 2014
    • You sure do know how to woo, Karen. I love me some Frank.

      February 6, 2014
  9. For some reason your treatment of Lou makes me think of this.

    February 6, 2014
    • I cannot hear this song without thinking of Italy. That isn’t a bad thing. I’m not going to elaborate. I have always admired people who could play an instrument and sing at the same time. I can play piano, and I try to sing, but I cannot do them at the same time.

      February 6, 2014
  10. Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
    Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
    Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting,
    Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing,β€”
    For a charm of powerful trouble,
    Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
    From MacBeth.
    Fun post, Andra. May someone OTHER than me wins Voodoo Lou.

    February 6, 2014
    • The Scottish play. I cannot even type the name. That’s how much of a theater person I still am on some level, Penny. Well done.

      February 6, 2014
  11. A sweetie is not hard-to-get
    even with the worst writ rhyme
    I’d say from my experience
    It’s harder to keep TIME

    So I’d take Lou and bag him
    the freezer’s his new home
    so when I meet my special gal
    it’s just OUR hands that roam!

    Unrelated, but related – this song makes me smile a lot:

    February 6, 2014
    • I’m smiling as I type my reply. I can see why this song makes you smile.

      February 6, 2014
  12. tarakianwarrior #

    You two are my favorite Valentine’s Lovers. πŸ™‚

    February 6, 2014
  13. ….and on a completely unrelated note, I just remembered something that you could add to the playlist for your walk — just substitute each day’s destination for “New Orleans” as you sing along: πŸ˜€

    February 6, 2014
    • NOLa plays in the book, Karen. Not an inappropriate choice.

      February 6, 2014
  14. Blend a twinkle of the eye, a cute look-away smile,
    With a flush of the cheeks and wait for a while…
    Add a dryness of mouth to a fluttering tum
    Breathe slightly more deeper, and look, here they come.
    Whisper sweet nothings, and if they don’t work
    Shout “Oi! Over here!” And lift up your shirt!

    OK. Maybe not.

    Sprinkle some love dust on an old worn-out bed
    Of roses and violets that are both blue and red
    Be true to your word, in heart and in head
    And use the power behind the words that are said
    (Or poke pin upon pin into a doll instead!)

    One more, Andra. I’ve not cast any spells for a while… you may be able to tell!

    Bring the wind!
    Bring the rain!
    Bring a companion to ease the pain!
    Bring the hail!
    Bring the snow!
    Bring a true love that will strengthen and grow!
    Bring the sunshine!
    Bring weather galore!
    Bring me a partner for evermore!

    (Obviously, the last one is only to be used in desperate situations)
    And equally obviously, as you say, I need no help whatsoever in the romance department…

    February 6, 2014
    • Tom- Not that it counts, but all the same- my votes for you. These seem like powerfully dangerous spells.

      February 6, 2014
      • Thanks, Dana. Yes, they should be used with caution. Or freely, depending…

        February 7, 2014
    • I’m going to give you this, Tom, because you’re English, and because any potential partner who doesn’t like these people should get a curse spell. πŸ™‚

      February 6, 2014
  15. A hank of hair and a piece of bone. Breath in a jar and heart in a box. Sweet smile captured . . . Maybe I went too far.

    February 6, 2014
    • Ha. Can anyone ever go too far with a love spell? In this movie, Sandra Bernhard did, and it was hilarious.

      February 6, 2014
  16. c’mon lou, take a walk on the wild side with me. looking for a mate who will help me build stuff, watch a film with subtitles, kiss like a sailor on a 2 hour leave, and listen to my haiku.

    February 6, 2014
    • This is the request for the perfect mate, Beth. I like it.

      February 6, 2014
  17. February 6, 2014
    • boo…I hate when the embed function does not work…everyone needs a little magic… and coconut ~

      February 6, 2014
    • These various comments have made me so happy today.

      February 6, 2014
  18. My Dearest Yummy Kisser, I must have you. My name is Dammit Doll and I am quite hot. I have been looking for a lover for a while now and you are my man. Just know that you can squeeze me, hug me, throw me, pinch me, yell at me and I will still love you. Voodoo Lou, let me poke you, baby. Won’t you whack my stuffing?

    February 6, 2014
  19. Here’s one of my favorites! This was a fun post. I have apparently put a spell on a secret admirer, Andra. LOL! I get an anonymous Valentine every year…I’m looking forward to seeing if it comes again next week. πŸ™‚

    February 7, 2014
  20. Lance #

    I dunno a, I kind of miss the picture of you hiking/walking in your header. It always make me think you’re looking for a voodoo doll or something

    February 7, 2014
  21. #

    Nothing like a chicken and a good spray of cornmeal to awaken the spirit !

    February 7, 2014
  22. “Because none of us need romantic help, do we, Dear Readers?”

    No… not at all… not in the least… why? Did someone say something? Who sent you? WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR?! >.> <..>

    February 8, 2014

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