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Commending the Coat Condom

chair condom

I love Chinese food. Hot and sizzling. The burn-my-insides kind. But living on the East Coast, I can’t often find my very own gastronomic Chernobyl, a dish that pulverizes my insides while I sweat. And cough. And mutter This is SO GOOD.

MTM treated me to real Chinese last night.

Only.

I couldn’t get past the Coat Condom.

Protection. The server draped it over the back of my chair to protect my coat. In case some dish had an unfortunate ejaculation as it passed my way.

I don’t know what that says about me exactly.

But I’ll take it.

chair condom selfie

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Click here to see photos of the Continuing Adventures of Thomas’ Car: Andra Watkins Tumblr

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25 Comments Post a comment
  1. Wow. You must eat at some nice restaurants! I’ve never had one of those! 😀 The ones I go to usually have a drive-up window and they’re screaming, “Can I help you?!”

    April 13, 2014
  2. Ah! The coat condom! I first encountered one in Beijing a few years back. They also make good protectors for your purse hanging on the back of the chair. Very civilized. Very safe.

    April 13, 2014
  3. Interesting, I have never seen the coat condom before. Is it to save you from explosive food on the trays as they passed or to save your coat from the commencement of your sweating? That could get a little messy too.

    April 13, 2014
  4. Maybe that you are … excitable? I will go no further. Nope, not even me.

    April 13, 2014
  5. Interesting. Never ever ever heard of this before. As an old geezer that says a lot. Thanks for the new learning.

    April 13, 2014
  6. Safety first.

    April 13, 2014
  7. Hmmm … I suppose that’s a nice gesture but it would make me nervous … like do their servers have a tendency to spill food? Was the restaurant crowded enough that they’re protecting your coat from being brushed against by too many people? Pickpockets??? Andra, you always have the most interesting experiences 😉

    April 13, 2014
  8. Did you dine? What did you choose? Inquiring minds and all that…

    April 13, 2014
  9. I have never seen such a thing but it sure seems like a good idea.

    April 13, 2014
  10. Funny about the coat condom. I could use a body condom when I go out because I undoubtedly spill and have to take out my handy Tide To Go pen to treat the stain. 🙂 I like how the car poses everywhere, it’s so bright that you can’t miss it. Also, I absolutely love the lovers picture off you and MTM. 🙂

    April 13, 2014
  11. Practicing safe s . . . um, serving, that’s it, safe serving.

    April 13, 2014
    • ha! Wish I’d thought of that, Karen.
      Andra, you’ve now given me yet another, er, item to talk about whence we go out to eat Chinese.

      April 14, 2014
  12. Hmm. I’m trying to wrap my mind around the concept of “unfortunate ejaculation.”

    April 13, 2014
  13. It puts a new complexion on the waiter saying ” You’re food’s coming now, madam”:)

    April 13, 2014
  14. I have never seen nor heard of that.!! Wow.!! btw – great photos.!! Your hair looks fantastic 🙂

    April 13, 2014
  15. I haven’t had great Sichuan food in AGES (it exists here in NYC, but I just haven’t been out in a while to go seek it out). A good hot pot is a life-altering experience on a few fronts (especially if you’re new to it and need to file a news report):

    Hmmm… now I’m getting hungry for some hot torture.

    April 13, 2014
  16. It seems experience dictates “safety.” Our Chinese restaurants here do not have coat condoms. They’re either much more careful with their service or are the equivalent to a greasy spoon. They’re more Americanized anyway.

    April 13, 2014
  17. I have never quite taken to food that ignites a furnace in my mouth and blows the top of my head off. S’pose I’m funny that way! Anyway, my protection lies in abstention!

    April 13, 2014
  18. Carlos Ovalle #

    Two questions. Do they actually call it a “coat condom”? Another, about your photography, do you use a filter or an App that makes the photos come out as if they were shot with expired film? I love the effect. My daughter buys expired film and shoots with a “real” film camera to achieve similar effects.

    April 13, 2014
  19. Lance #

    we love Chinese food too. Now I know what we can dine when we hang,

    At least your coat is protected in case it experiments.

    April 13, 2014
  20. You are in the right city for that. Have never heard of such a thing in a restaurant. Maybe the waiters are sloppy food carriers. So, how was the food and what did you have?

    April 13, 2014
  21. I’ve never heard of such a thing! Good Chinese food. Anthony Bourdain has done an entire piece on my city. if you want Chinese food, you need to come to visit me. 🙂

    April 13, 2014
  22. tarakianwarrior #

    Wow! Super fancy place… The food…was it GREAT?

    April 14, 2014
  23. When we get Chinese, I ask for a bowl of hot chili oil on the side ~ perfect way to get more *BANG* for your Dim Sum.

    April 14, 2014
  24. That moonshine with the fruit in it is pretty disgusting; I love that stuff.

    April 15, 2014

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