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He’s Got Leaving on His Mind

Let’s face it. There comes a time in every relationship when you have to admit that it has run its course. With some mates, it happens sooner than you thought it should or had wanted it too. Ten years is actually above the norm these days, so a relationship that goes beyond that—approaching 15 years—should be considered a grand success. But it is still a heartbreak when you have to accept that it is over.

In your daily life you can sometimes overlook the flaws, but take an extended trip, where you are spending much more intensive time together, and those flaws start to magnify. And so you find yourself taking stock as the trip winds down. Sure you still get on great, and in the right light, you can still feel good about being seen out on a date. But come the morning, when you see the clothes strewn about the floor, you look over and you come to the hard truth: it’s just not the same as it was.

The wear and tear has taken its toll. It might be tempting to just hang on a bit longer, but what better time to make the break than at the end of such a trip…you know, get a fresh start and all that. And so it happened: the emotional leaving behind.

Poor MTM. His favorite shirt, a Zara white dress shirt he has had since his Barcelona days (that’s 1990’s, folks), was unceremoniously dumped at the end of our adventure down under. He saw fit to wear it one last time, on our Next 10 Years Dinner in Sydney. And then he took it off and put it in the trash. He may have even shed a tear.

left shirt

23 Comments Post a comment
  1. Poor MTM, I hope he’s okay.

    June 15, 2014
  2. Ahh, the heartbreak. Maybe it’s time to go back to Barcelona for a new model? 😀

    June 15, 2014
  3. Nancy Glenn #

    I know the feeling, oh too well! I threw away one of my dolls yesterday. She was well loved in her time but had been packed away for many years. She had become sticky from the heat in storage, I guess. I could not clean her…I could not donate her…so I put her in the trash. I hope this does not make me a bad person. I did feel awful!

    June 15, 2014
  4. At least it was just a shirt. It could have been … his pens!

    June 15, 2014
  5. You should save old things and have someone make a quilt out of the scraps. When I was growing up, mama saved all the clothes we wrote out and cut out good pieces and made a cathedral window quilt. Looking at it today is a trip into my past. Bill’s mom did the same with the shirts and ties of her nephew after he died from brain cancer. Now her great niece had a quilt Madre of her father’s and shirts.

    June 15, 2014
    • Jill Clary Stevenson #

      I’ve done that with my son’s baby clothes and am getting ready to make a quilt from my mom’s old scarves. Such a nice tradition, Cheryl- glad to know someone else does things like this!

      June 15, 2014
  6. Guys are weird about clothes. It drives Laura nuts that I can’t seem to divest my closet of old t-shirts. They all have memories associated with them. I probably have 50 Harley t-shirts, each bought on some journey or given to me by others who understand the connection. My current favorite is from Low Country Harley in Charleston, a gift from my daughter when she was getting her Masters at SCAD in Savannah. I totally understand MTM’s tear.

    June 15, 2014
  7. “Comes a time
    when you’re driftin’
    Comes a time
    when you settle down
    Comes a light
    feelin’s liftin’
    Lift that baby
    right up off the ground.

    Oh, this old world
    keeps spinning round
    It’s a wonder tall trees
    ain’t layin’ down
    There comes a time.

    You and I we were captured
    We took our souls
    and we flew away
    We were right
    we were giving
    That’s how we kept
    what we gave away.

    Oh, this old world
    keeps spinning round
    It’s a wonder tall trees
    ain’t layin’ down
    There comes a time.”

    N Young

    June 15, 2014
  8. Oh, the tragedy of it! I hope you will be truly understanding when he goes all pensive while in the process of dressing up in future!

    June 15, 2014
  9. The only thing I have that is really old is my standard black tux, bought in 1988 is Savannah and I wear it about two or three times a year. I had to trash the tux shirt about three years ago and it was heart breaking to have to spend the money to buy a new one. Oh well, at least I know the tux should last another 25 years or so. Feel your pain, MTM.

    June 15, 2014
  10. Oh, I know the man’s paaaaaaaain. I had to let go of about 40 or so shirts, sweaters and other clothes not too long ago in a great purge. Nothing fit anymore except for some ugly sweaters I’d never gotten around to wearing (gifts, of course – I don’t buy ugly sweaters), but it still felt like chopping off an arm.

    Then again, I needed the closet space. I think the only times I was actually upset when losing articles of clothing was a few pairs of favorite jeans finally came apart at the seams and couldn’t be fixed to proper wearable condition and one wonderful heavy black cotton cable knit sweater that was coming apart and got scrapped by someone who thought she was doing me a “favor”, grrrrr. Of course, she stole my awesome imported Teller Coat when we broke up, and that ticked me off for months.

    Eh, I’m much happier now. Tell MTM he’ll live and breathe better once he has a new shirt to replace the deceased one…

    June 15, 2014
  11. awww……

    June 15, 2014
  12. Ha,ha!! I knew it couldn’t possibly be an MTM and Andra break up. The seas would have parted and hell would have frozen over. My condolences to MTM. 👔👕

    June 15, 2014
  13. Hello! I’ve nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award

    June 16, 2014
  14. I had the feeling that this was about clothes. 🙂 I was talking to my mom the other day. I know how attached my dad gets to his clothes. When she bought him some new socks, he thought he could find a home for his old ones. They all had holes in them!

    June 16, 2014
  15. Forgot to mention: I had a feeling this was about clothes BEFORE I glanced down at the photo lest you say, “Well, duh, there’s a photo of a shirt!”

    June 16, 2014
  16. You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, I always say!

    June 16, 2014
  17. It’s a high price to pay:)

    June 16, 2014
  18. I suppose he didn’t want to have it come home as a spare dust rag? Just to have as a token? Probably better to simply have it left behind with some of the memories of this wonderful honeymoon/anniversary trip. It had a good life.

    June 17, 2014
  19. Ah, that bittersweet end of a long time “relationship”.

    June 18, 2014
  20. The fact that a favorite shirt lasted that long is pretty amazing. Here’s to new shirts and new beginnings, MTM. 🙂

    June 19, 2014
  21. It is wonderful to know that other people’s men hold onto clothes from the nineties. If I could only separate Phil from his sheepskin coat, circa 1965…..he insists it is vintage.

    June 19, 2014
  22. I call my husband’s clothes, uniforms. He has tan and blue pants, many pairs. He wears one of them each day. His collection of shirts are pull overs that are blue or red. NOT much in between.

    June 25, 2014

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