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Stop That Coughing

I can’t stop that coughing. I said it over, and over AND OVER on our recent trip. While I didn’t write about it much, I got one of the worst colds I can remember having on our trek to Australia and New Zealand. I’m STILL coughing.

And I spent the whole trip saying, “I can’t stop that coughing.”

MTM finally got sick of it. “Why do you keep saying that?”

“What”

“Stop that coughing???”

“You mean, Dad hasn’t told you that joke?”

“Nnnnnnoooooooo……..”

So last night at myΒ To Live ForeverΒ presentation at the Charleston County Library, Dad took over the proceedings. He jumped into the aisle, interrupted my epic book-and-walk talk and told his big joke.

This guy, he died in San Francisco. The undertaker put him in this coffin and loaded him in the back of the hearse.

Well, you know how San Francisco is, right? He had made it his wish to be buried in a cemetery up on a hill so he could look out over the bay. So the undertaker was driving him up that hill, and as he neared the top he hit a bump, and the back door of the hearse popped open, and that coffin slid out the back.

It picked up speed as it bumped down a hill, and it blasted through the plate glass window of a pharmacy. Only thing that stopped it was the counter. That coffin rammed into the counter, and the force of it lifted the lid off that casket. The man sat up in it about the time the pharmacist turned around and said, “Can I help you, Sir?”

And the guy in the casket said, “I’m just looking for something to help me stop my coffin.”

Thanks to everyone who came out to the library last night. I saw many familiar faces, and I met people who were new. And, of course, Dad had a big time.

******

Photo by Cheryl Smithem

47 Comments Post a comment
  1. Have you seen your doctor about that coffin?

    June 25, 2014
    • No. It’s pretty much gone, except for random eruptions every couple of days.

      June 25, 2014
  2. It was great fun and you had a good crowd. Nice talk and slideshow. And yes, of course, The Roy Show was entertaining as always.

    June 25, 2014
    • I was pretty amazed that many people came. It was humbling. And yes, Dad was great.

      June 25, 2014
  3. I loved it when Roy clearly got choked up telling everyone how much you mean to him. I enjoyed hearing more about you motivations for the book and the adventures along the way. And I got tho see Jason whom I’ve not seen in a long time.

    June 25, 2014
    • I was sorry I couldn’t chat with you afterwards. That’s the hardest thing about those events. I want to talk to everyone, and I can’t talk to everyone at the same time.

      June 25, 2014
      • Not to worry…I departed pretty quickly.

        June 25, 2014
  4. Ah, wish I could have been there!

    Hugs from Ecuador,
    Kathy

    June 25, 2014
  5. Glad to read that last night was another successful event for you. Also, I wish my memory for a joke and my method of delivery were as good as Roy’s. Are you sure he didn’t do a stint as a stand-up comic somewhere along the line?

    June 25, 2014
    • Dad’s memory for everything is pretty spot-on. I know that’s something I get from him.

      June 25, 2014
  6. hahahahaha and glad it went well )

    June 25, 2014
    • I was relieved when people laughed. Sometimes, Dad’s jokes aren’t funny, but people laugh at him laughing at them.

      June 25, 2014
  7. I’m so sorry I missed it. I did actually make it home before 6pm, but the crazy storm knocked out our power for 2 hours. No power = no Internet. 😦

    June 25, 2014
    • We didn’t have enough internet signal in the auditorium for a hangout, anyway. We recorded it, but Rowe is going to bust it up into smaller bits for online use. Also, MTM wants to try to record another one tomorrow night head on, which he thinks might turn out better. I haven’t watched any of it, because I despise watching myself.

      June 25, 2014
      • We are always our worst critics. I’m sure you were awesome and looked amazing.

        June 25, 2014
      • It’s just always been weird to watch myself. I had to do it when I was studying acting and doing theater, and now I have to do it for my book presentations. It makes me aware of my ticks so that I can work on them, but it’s just so uncomfortable for me. I really don’t like the sound of my voice, and I always want to believe I don’t really sound like I do. πŸ™‚

        June 25, 2014
      • I get that. I hated the sound if my voice in that video blog I did of the GC hike. Apparently that’s what I really sound like though. πŸ™‚

        June 25, 2014
  8. I recall a variation of that joke, but I liked yours better than the one I remember.

    June 25, 2014
  9. Ha ha! I think I’ve heard that one before.
    Hope you can see your doctor and stop that coughing! My sister-in-law had a bad cough. Turns out it was allergy related.

    June 25, 2014
    • I’m pretty well done with the coughing. Now, if I could just jettison this migraine……… πŸ™‚

      June 25, 2014
  10. Puns are the worst, but they are also the best.

    June 25, 2014
  11. Too funny, Andra. πŸ™‚

    June 25, 2014
  12. It sounds like a great time was had by all, I’m sorry I missed it! And I hope your “coffin” finally gets some rest. πŸ™‚

    June 25, 2014
    • I slept a good portion of the day today, Lisa. (When I wasn’t in meetings and such.)

      June 25, 2014
  13. tarakianwarrior #

    Wish I was there but it sounds like you…Roy…and everyone else had a great time.

    June 25, 2014
  14. As my roommate is an undertaker this was much appreciated lol

    June 25, 2014
  15. Excellent:)

    June 25, 2014
  16. Another: “It’s not the coughing you need to worry about, it’s the coffin they carry you out in.” *badda, badda, bump! symbol crash*

    June 25, 2014
  17. Your dad is a hoot!

    Also… your book just came in the post, and I’m so excited to read it.

    June 25, 2014
  18. I hadn’t heard that one, and it provided a good giggle. Did the cars get out of the way of that casket? πŸ™‚

    June 25, 2014
  19. I left Kiawah at 5:45 pm last night and did not get home until around 6:45 pm. Sigh….

    June 25, 2014
    • You and Katy were missed, James. 6pm is a tough time for a lot of people.

      June 25, 2014
  20. Love it!

    June 26, 2014
  21. THAT is a good one! I will probably use that from now on when I cough. πŸ™‚

    June 26, 2014
  22. That joke is hilarious. πŸ™‚

    I’ve been coughing and cold-esque for the past month, it’s been driving me batty.

    June 27, 2014
  23. I could just see Roy enjoying his time on “Stage”. Glad to see that some things never change.

    June 27, 2014
  24. Are you taking your vitamins? πŸ™‚ I am sorry to hear you had such a bad cold on your trip. It must be hard to fight off illness right now when you’re constantly with other people and in crowds. Your dad telling that joke must have been a crowd pleaser. I can almost fill in the sound of his voice delighted in the telling! It must have been a very nice experience for everyone, Andra.

    June 29, 2014

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