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When Nakedness Is Next To…….

When I discovered my latest problem, I was naked. I raked nearsighted eyes everywhere while water dribbled down the drain.

“How did this happen?” My voice echoed in claustrophobic space. I grabbed a towel and charged from the bathroom, dripping everywhere.

I found the primary offender.

Outside.

“Did YOU do this?” I shouted and waved evidence inches from a face.

“What? That?”

“Yes. This.”

“Don’t know nothing about it.”

“Why would you even USE this? I mean, look at it.”

“I done told you. I don’t know nothing.”

Aggravation almost made me drop my towel. “You can’t fool me, Old Man.” I held a broken bottle under Dad’s nose. “You BROKE my bottle of exfoliating glitter bath gel.”

Blue sparkled on Dad’s face when he cackled. “I’m handsomer, ain’t I?”

45 Comments Post a comment
  1. so busted.

    September 2, 2014
    • He wasn’t even embarrassed…..Hope you had a good Labor Day, Beth.

      September 2, 2014
  2. 107F and you went outside? You’re made of stern stuff. I’d be crying in the fridge.

    September 2, 2014
    • Fiona, I had to drive back from the mountains yesterday. Going from high 70s/low 80s to THAT HEAT was a shocker. I unloaded the car when I got home and haven’t been outside since.

      September 2, 2014
  3. Now that IS a problem….. is it really 107 there? yikes!

    September 2, 2014
    • I don’t know what it is today, because I’m determined not to leave the house until I must. 🙂

      September 2, 2014
  4. He’s incorrigible!

    September 2, 2014
  5. Runt Rhoooo Roy is in trouble now… Run Roy Run….. Yipes, 107 is pretty hot.

    September 2, 2014
  6. michaelcarnell #

    Now that’s funny right thar. I don’t care who ya are!!

    September 2, 2014
    • He sells loads of books for me, and this is the thanks he gets……

      September 2, 2014
  7. So…you can call him Sparkles now…that would teach him to break your stuff! :-p

    September 2, 2014
  8. well at least you know he wasn’t out getting lap dances, which is the primary glitter transferring source for males over 18.

    September 2, 2014
    • My brain is now permanently scarred…………….

      September 2, 2014
      • clearly we need to take you to a strip club so you will know all about all of the jokes we try to tell you all the time!

        September 2, 2014
  9. Finally, finally, finally To Live Forever reached the top of my TBR stack. Totally enjoying it.

    September 2, 2014
  10. Alice #

    Roy has enough natural sparkle. Glitter is just overkill.

    September 2, 2014
  11. Dunno whether to be amused that Roy used your glitter scrub or shocked that YOU use it. Oh well, whatever works for you. I think glitter and I think sharp, tiny square bits of whatever getting all stabby on your complexion. I had NO idea that glitter is a big thing at the florists around here, too. I was with a friend who was buying flowers and the woman in the shop reached for the glitter and he had to wave her off because she was about to go all pepper mill on the nice roses he’d picked out.

    September 2, 2014
    • The glitter scrub was a mistake…..an expensive mistake. I bought it for my face but didn’t see that it was the body scrub, not the face scrub. By the time I noticed, I already used it on my face and couldn’t take it back. The face scrub doesn’t contain glitter, but the body scrub……

      September 2, 2014
  12. I totally agree with Alice! And I have to laugh at Roy! But my goodness!!! The heat is awful!

    September 2, 2014
  13. Ha! I haven’t lost a bottle of bath gel yet but bath salts disappear a lot faster than I can use them around here…one boy (or two) is looking guilty.

    September 2, 2014
    • Bath salts are pretty awesome. Those men have good taste. 🙂

      September 2, 2014
  14. Hey, the dude wanted to look handsomer. 🙂

    September 2, 2014
    • He was in rare form yesterday. Since he wasn’t wearing his hearing aids, I’m surprised you didn’t hear my end of the conversation over hundreds of miles.

      September 2, 2014
  15. A sparkling Dad even at 107degrees is to be tresaured!

    September 2, 2014
  16. These little snapshots of life with you and your dad are always fun. For me, that is.

    September 2, 2014
  17. tarakianwarrior #

    Let that be a lesson….hide your pretties. 🙂 Or bring extra and hide them….just cannot trust some men who have the curiosity of the cat…and want to smell and look pretty also. 🙂 Love the visual. I needed that this morning.

    September 2, 2014
  18. So, is he prettier?

    September 2, 2014
  19. Kir Piccini #

    I just like that he owned the crime and sparkled in his admission. Everyone needs a little glitter Andra, everyone. 🙂

    September 2, 2014
  20. Don’t you spell it ‘nekkid’ back where you live?

    September 2, 2014
  21. They broke the mould when they made him, Andra 🙂

    September 3, 2014
  22. I’d never seen Roy as a man for blue sparkle – maybe Roy Rogers more than I had imagined:)

    September 3, 2014
  23. Hehehe – reminds me of the time the neighbor’s son drank the Cabbage Patch bath lotion. Of course, the boy was only 3 at the time.

    September 3, 2014
  24. Hahahaha! On the other hand, my dad when he’s caught red handed starts shouting and yelling about how he’s the victim…*facepalm*

    September 3, 2014
  25. Hahaha! His eyes they shone like diamonds…

    September 4, 2014
  26. Kathy Waller #

    107. Okay, I’ll stop complaining. For a while.

    September 4, 2014

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