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Say It Isn’t So (A Post About You)

A Tuesday post!! From Moi! To persecute your inbox and give you another thing you don’t have time to read!!!!! Say it isn’t so!!!!!!!

Bwahahahahaha. (To quote Lou Mello.)

I owe you an apology. YOU, Dear Reader. Not Lou Mello.

MTM’s accident, surgery and recovery, coupled with my shrew-ish dragging of him to Mexico City a mere 24 hours after surgery, rendered me a shade. Or maybe my true selfish-awful bitch is shining.

I’ve been absent from your blogs. I haven’t been responding to your comments.

I suck.

I don’t deserve to write about me today.

So, tell me about you. How did you Make a Memory over the Thanksgiving holiday? What happened that will buoy you through the coming weeks? Maybe even follow you for the balance of your life? Who said a few words and changed your outlook? Or gave you something precious you can’t repay?

Fill my tank with your memories.

Because I’m dry today.

61 Comments Post a comment
  1. Hi Andra 🙂 I’m catching up on your blog today – I haven’t been round for ages, and so much seems to have happened since the last time I visited. That makes two of us who haven’t been pulling our weight. Two’s company – pass the wine 🙂 Hope MTM is feeling better.
    Now. Someone who said a few words and changed my outlook? My grandmother, who instructed her grandchildren to “Look after number one first, because no other bugger will do it”.

    December 2, 2014
    • It’s so great to see you. I thought I followed your blog……how was I not following it?? I tried to subscribe by email to a bunch of them months ago, and somehow, yours must’ve slipped past. I’m sorry about that. I went over and corrected that error before I posted this comment.

      I’m trying to imagine your grandmother. Is she still living as a great British spitfire? She sounds like a spitfire…….

      December 2, 2014
      • My grandma was a grade A rough diamond from a rough area of Manchester who refused to depend on anyone, and left a legacy of good sense behind her.

        December 2, 2014
  2. Andra, even I, one without a husband or trip to Mexico City, found it hard to read and comment on blogs. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

    As for Thanksgiving memories, it’s the same as my comment on your FB page – Elves in the hallway…after a gut-busting Thanksgiving dinner with friends, visiting mom, shopping, more eating on Friday and Saturday, taste-testing the neighbor’s chocolate candies, baking, chasing the cats around, and watching Star Trek reruns on Netflix. I had to return to work to relax. 🙂 Hope your Mexico City trip was fabulous and MTM is feeling much better.

    December 2, 2014
    • I wrote this post to punish myself for coming into the door from the trip and throwing a temper tantrum. A real, honest four-year-old squawler. MTM did not deserve that. But I’m not telling that story.

      Please tell me your gave your mom an extra brandy manhattan…….. 🙂

      December 2, 2014
      • Oh no, I hope you don’t get a lump of coal from St. Nick. Or MTM. Mom and I went out to eat on Saturday and she had her usual Manhattan at the restaurant, which means that she probably had another one Saturday night which munching on a KitKat. 🙂

        December 2, 2014
  3. Andra: it’s snowing on your page! A well deserved break. I hope MTM has recovered. On a side note, I’m about 2/3 of the way through your book and waiting to see what happens at the end. I must admit, it’s sent me Wikipedia-ing off for facts! Welcome back!

    December 2, 2014
    • Dina, I turned the snow feature on years ago, and now I don’t know how to turn it off. 🙂 But I like it. Feels like Christmas here.

      MTM is still in a sling. We go to the doctor on Thursday for an evaluation of the surgery and progress with healing. I hope he gets cleared to drive. I love being with him, but being a chauffeur is hard work. Thanks for asking about him.

      I’m grateful that you’re a curious reader. I hoped the book would make people curious about the history.

      December 2, 2014
  4. Never apologize to Lou Mello, it sets a very bad precedent.

    As for my Thanksgiving weekend, got to see my kids home from college, Clemson beat USC, I didn’t have to go out shopping, and I didn’t kill anyone. So a good holiday all the way round.

    Glad you two had fun south of the border. Maybe you should have a field trip to the “real” South of the Border!

    December 2, 2014
    • Thank heavens you know the word precedent. There is a Charleston leader who uses precedence when she means precedent… But one can always trust an English major.

      December 2, 2014
      • One can also trust Google to help you out when you are unsure because you haven’t had enough caffeine yet. Such as “‘i’ before ‘e’ except before ‘c’ and in words like ‘caffeine'”.

        December 2, 2014
    • I grew up near the real SOTB, Carnell. What a sad place.

      December 2, 2014
      • I agree. That is why I mentioned it. I knew you would know the place all too well.

        December 2, 2014
    • BWWAAAAHHAAAAAHAAAAAA. Let them all eat fruitcake

      December 2, 2014
      • Fruitcake might be ok… if soaked in rum or brandy.

        December 2, 2014
  5. Took our first road trip with Bill’s dad. And we had fun. And I got to eat turkey, hold my grandson and fuss at my mom. All in one day! Actually 2.5 days.

    December 2, 2014
    • How’s your mom doing with her recovery? Is that why you fussed at her?

      December 2, 2014
      • Andra, she’s progressing but is trying too hard to act as if she’s not just had a total knee replacement. She needs to ice and elevate more and be less on the go.

        December 3, 2014
  6. I think you’re entitled from time to time, darling. Life must, on occasion, take priority. Hope MTM is recuperating nicely.
    I’ve spent the last month wearing dark clothes and listening to gloomy music as I spent thirty days as Jessica, and finished book one of that trilogy I told you about, what — a year ago? Well, finally started writing it, and I’ve decided to put off continuing Volume Three of the Memoirs (I’ve got a good chunk written anyway — y’all can wait to hear the rest of my love story and how I ended up getting married on a whim in the new year) in order to get at least the second book of the trilogy done in the next couple of months (I’m not doing another 30 day challenge…. holy cow that’s exhausting).
    Actually, wait a second. I just realized that I made that big announcement on Facebook on October 30th, but it’s just occurred to me that I haven’t told you, so: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1503902546561010&set=a.1391588311125768.1073741828.100008238366192&type=1&theater

    December 2, 2014
  7. I remember brushing my teeth this morning because I can still taste the toothpaste. Later? Maybe I’ll remember lunch. Hope so.

    December 2, 2014
    • I went to Rotary without brushing my teeth. Maybe that’s why so many people avoided me. Ha.

      December 2, 2014
  8. Maybe even follow you for the balance of your life?

    While I realize that the aim of this question is to focus on the positive, I have to admit that my Thanksgiving experience this year confirmed what I’ve alway suspected. It’s better to spend Thanksgiving at home all alone with husband than it is to go anywhere that involves friends and family. There’s just something about this holiday that brings out the snark & snarl in everyone who I know.

    Next year? It’s turkey for two.

    December 2, 2014
    • My general experience with Thanksgiving is the antithesis of yours. We’ve been gathering with family and friends for decades and it has become my favorite holiday. It is a big extended family and we’ve known each other since we were hippies trying to understand where we belonged. Part of the deal, I think, is that it’s the family I’ve chosen, not the genetic one. The only people on the planet I’m biologically related to are my children. Maybe that has something to do with my feelings about the holiday. But hey, turkey for two sounds equally pleasant.

      December 2, 2014
      • narble, your experiences sound wonderful. How fun for you to have found such a loyal group of friends. Weird how different Thanksgiving can be for everyone.

        December 2, 2014
    • Ally, MTM and I have done “No Family Holidays With Family” for more than a decade. We don’t even do turkey. We go someplace that doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. We miss the Black Friday nonsense and try very hard to check out of the rabid discussion of football (though with FB this year, my feed was football hell.) (And I don’t mean to insult anyone who’s into those things. I’m just not into them.) I can say enthusiastically that our Thanksgiving tradition is one of the highlights of my year. Every year. I love that we get away and focus on each other before the crazy holiday season sets in. I hope that gives you something to look forward to for next year, when you’ll do the holiday on your terms.

      December 2, 2014
      • I like your approach to Thanksgiving. I think that it’s time for us to do the same thing as you two are doing. You are a wise woman, my dear.

        December 2, 2014
  9. Spent a wonderful time with my older sister. She flew in and we had enough time to really talk and enjoy one another. Not much of a story but was good for both of us.

    December 2, 2014
  10. The only bad thing you’re doing is being too hard on yourself. We’re your friends, through sickness and in health, and even that weird part in between.

    December 2, 2014
    • See above regarding my temper tantrum. I feel so awful right now, and my fuse is so short it doesn’t exist. I’m behind on everything, and every time I blink, something else gets added to my to do list. I’m a shitty nurse, and I feel like I’m showing my worst side to everyone in my life. I’m terrified this upcoming book isn’t going to do well. (See? All writers do that to themselves.)

      So, this post was a place to put all those things without typing them………

      December 2, 2014
      • heh, I should make you go grocery shopping with Krista and you guys can compare short fuses. I’m always amazed that we make it out of the store with zero brutal knife murders on her rap sheet!

        December 2, 2014
    • On the upside, it’s great to see my crazy book in lists like this:

      http://dolcebellezza.net/2014/11/24/mailbox-monday-a-few-books-im-looking-forward-to/

      December 2, 2014
      • that’s gotta be neat to see something you made in a list like that, with a picture amongst other books! Surreal!

        December 2, 2014
      • Very cool! The book list part, not the part where Krista knifes people in the grocery.

        December 2, 2014
  11. Oh I look forward to the snow on your page every year! Also, I listened to the wonderful CD I won last year the other night whilst decorating my tree. My brother, sister in law and nephew joined us for Thanksgiving, along with my father. We ate well and enjoyed our brief time together. My son and nephew are five weeks apart and got along swimmingly as young adults. After lunch, they left us to venture to Starbucks. I remarked to my brother that’s not what WE would have done after dinner when we were seventeen! Snicker, snicker.

    Glad you had fun in Mexico City. MTM seems to be on the mend and for that, I am sure, you are grateful. xxoo

    December 2, 2014
    • Maybe they just TOLD you they were going to Starbucks……. wink.

      I’m glad the holiday was enjoyable for you. I love the pictures of your tree. I’m looking forward to being in the Asheville area more in 2015. You make MTM smile and laugh like few people do. 🙂

      December 2, 2014
  12. You already know how I spent Thanksgiving (if uncertain, check your email), and the result is definitely buoying me up; hopefully, sufficient to last the rest of my life. I still look like hell, but improving each day. Hoping MTM is progressing equally as well.

    Then there’s you . . . stop beating yourself up!! Multifarious Meanderings’ grandmother was quite right! 🙂

    December 2, 2014
    • I’m glad to hear things are going well on that end, Karen. MTM update is above, but I’ll repeat here to save your eyes. I know they’re sensitive right now.

      We go to the doctor on Thursday as a check-up following surgery. He’s been in a sling, and I hope (but am not hopeful) he’ll be told he can ditch the sling and start driving again. I don’t mind helping him shower. Or tying his shoes. I’ve even gotten to the place where I can clean and dress his incision without toppling over. But I’m tired of playing chauffeur. So much of writing is being still and quiet enough for a stretch of time to actually get things done, and I absolutely cannot do that right now. Every time something else goes on my to do list, I have a mini heart attack……MTM has more movement in his shoulder than I expected him to have by this point, and he’s been a very good patient. He does his exercises as specified. He’s virtually off all pain meds. He’s really a saint.

      December 2, 2014
  13. My little memory is a nice quiet day with TLMK and enjoying football on TV, a feast on the table and a phone call with my Mother.
    I too avoid Black like th plague, tried it once about 30 years ago and swore “nevermore”.

    December 2, 2014
    • You got the tree up, too. I saw that picture. I’m jealous. We went to get our trees yesterday, and they were completely sold out.

      December 2, 2014
  14. tarakianwarrior #

    Ah………………memories. Wish I had a picture of Mike and I at the wine tasting….can you say fish out of water? Too funny. My palate is not a discerning palate…give me something sweet any day…Sheila says you have go build up to it and I say, why? If I don’t like it now why should I force myself to drink something I don’t like so that in a few years I might like it? I just don’t get it. 😦 So alas, I’m doomed to be a non wine drinker, non beer drinker…but I do like my tequila… 😀

    December 2, 2014
    • I’m the same way about beer, Lori. It looks like pee. It smells like pee. I’ve never tasted one without those associations………

      December 2, 2014
  15. I finally finished a letter to you. Will get that in the mail today!

    December 2, 2014
    • Yay! I got a card from Biker Chick yesterday (and MTM got a separate card from her, which made his week.) I’ll skip to the mailbox every afternoon now.

      December 2, 2014
  16. Lance #

    Hope y’all had a lively day of giving thanks and MTM is healing well.

    December 2, 2014
  17. Stop beating yourself up. Being a caretaker is not always easy, and you and MTM are in a situation that is foreign to your regular lifestyle. Just know that it is not forever, and try to take one day at a time, trite as that may sound, because all you have is each day. There will be time to write as well, perhaps not as often as you wish, but enough to create what you need.

    December 2, 2014
    • Exhaustion and change never make me my best, but I suppose that happens to anyone.

      December 2, 2014
  18. you have a lot on your plate and we like you just the way you are. ps – over the holiday, i may have killed my computer.

    December 2, 2014
  19. Lots of memory making across the Thanksgiving table. 5 year old grand nephew Jake hugged me for sharing a jar of N & M’s (not a typo) and rewarded me by reading three books aloud to JUST me. Scott, his soon-to-be 12 year old brother, marked our upcoming b-days by standing back-to-back, proving he is now taller than me. We share the same birthday. I think the real memory will be for Scott, who roared and snorted at funny family stories. 12 year old boys love to hear about frozen turkeys nearly decapitating their short aunt, or their great uncle’s adventure’s riding the train. Making a memory today with you, dear Andra, on that famous trail. 🙂

    December 2, 2014
    • My brother used to call them N & M’s, too. 🙂 It sounds like your day was perfect, Penny.

      December 2, 2014
  20. One word: Salmonella. It will apparently endure in my gut for one year.

    December 2, 2014
    • Boo!! Boobooboo!! That’s terrible news. Are you okay now?

      December 2, 2014
  21. I too have been out of touch, all tied up with the demands of daily life. Therefore I had an undemanding Thanksgiving, the only kind I was up for this year.

    December 2, 2014
  22. You don’t suck. You live. And that is an accomplishment all in itself. Or should I say….all in itself!!!

    December 2, 2014
  23. Oh boy, I don’t think this year’s Thanksgiving memories are going in the mental scrapbook but after listening to A Change at Christmas I’m remembering lots of fun afternoons laying on the living room floor listening to Flaming Lips records. 🙂 Thanks for the trip back in time and I’m crossing my fingers for a great Thursday report after MTM’s check up.

    December 3, 2014
  24. Mexico City would be a wonderful trip! We disappeared last week to Varadero and it was great way to rejuvenate.

    December 3, 2014
  25. I am totally failing at this blogging thing. I had no husband in surgery, no trip to Mexico City, and still couldn’t manage to read or write any blog posts. This whole having-a-real-job thing is startng to really cramp my style. Sigh.

    December 7, 2014

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