Fate’s Fickle Fingering
I think I told you I’m in the North Carolina mountains. For three weeks, I’m holing up in a house on Mississippi Road. Writing a book set mostly in Mississippi. And eating food that’s reminiscent of my Mississippi walk, because let’s face it: I. Don’t. Cook.
Today, I revised a section of the story.
And I cried.
And I sobbed.
And I heaved.
With all the depressing happenings in the news, I wonder how often we consider the magic of our lives.
How my parents had a fight over his sick mother.
How my mother huffed home to her mother, while my father drove across a state to the hospital to be with his mother.
How, somehow, my father ended up leaving his mother’s bedside to drive all night to be with his wife in Kentucky.
How they had makeup sex in a downstairs bedroom with the door open, across the hall from my grandmother.
How I was conceived near the time Dad’s mother died.
When I was a teenager, Dad used to tell me how he regretted not telling his parents he loved them often enough. I don’t know if Dad got to tell his mother he loved her one last time. But if he chose his mother instead of his wife, would I even exist today?
Life is a miracle. I complain about it. I wring my hands over it. I complicate it and worry about it and generally screw it up.
And none of that negates the intricate series of choices that led to my being here.
I’m ashamed of myself.
I should be celebrating the wonder of every breath.
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TODAY’S MERIWETHER LEWIS BIRTHDAY MONTH TRIVIA QUESTION:
Answer to yesterday’s Meriwether Lewis Birthday Month Trivia Question: FROM WHAT CITY DID LEWIS AND CLARK DEPART FOR THEIR WESTERN EXPEDITION?
ANSWER: St. Charles, Missouri.
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To Live Forever: An Afterlife Journey of Meriwether Lewis is just $2.99 on Kindle during August in celebration of Meriwether Lewis’ Birthday Month.
Click here to read an excerpt.
Or click below to buy it.
.
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To check out the entire Meriwether Lewis Birthday Month Series, follow the links below:
Lewis and Clark: Screwing Their Way Across a Continent
Lewis and Clark and Sex Bombs
Who Was Meriwether Lewis Godfather?
If Meriwether Lewis Had Lived to be 80
Lewis and Clark and Old Blue Eyes
The Lion Will Lie Down With the Lamb
My Natchez Trace Walk Featured in We Proceeded On
Dead People Follow Me And They Talk To Me
Is Suicide the Final Arbiter of a Life. For Robin Williams. And Meriwether Lewis.
WordPress Is Killing Me
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The Accidental Cootchie Mama 
True. Life is a celebration
You are a true writer… to your very soul.
Yep, the latest reality show is indeed “Life Happens”
Good morning Andra. I am so glad that you are here and for the many blessings you have given to those of us that know you. I love reading your blog. Thank you for being you.
enjoy your time away, with your words, and your thoughts and your quiet. it’s a miracle of sorts that any of us exist, it’s like a giant game of roulette in my mind.
Your perspective today, that slight tilt of the head is exactly what I needed.
Yes, let’s breath deeply today and smile.
Xo
Good reminder and advice.
Epiphanies are good. Little things, too. Celebrate them both Andra.
Oh, and by the way, we love you!!
Sometimes a good soul-cleansing cry is exactly what we need to hit the reset button. I hope these 3 weeks are wonderful and productive for you.
You are not alone in the wringing of hands, complicating, worrying, and generally screwing life up.Comes with the keyboard. *Hug*
There is a saying which has been attributed to lots of folks, but has it’s roots way back, I think: A son’s a son till he takes a wife, but a daughter’s a daughter all of her life.
You can look at that from several perspectives. Although it is as it should be from the perspective of a son, if you’re the mother of that son, the vantage point can be more difficult. Thankfully, your Dad had his priorities straight, and hopefully, your grandmother was at peace with that. All of us who know and care about you are happy for the end result.
Hope the migraine is becoming a distant memory, the sun is shining, your smile is back and the words are flowing easily for you this morning.
I believe you are “celebrating the wonder of every breath” Andra; you are doing it in your own way, on your own terms. Isn’t it a gift of life to know you are a miracle? My mother often told me of my breach birth, how I wasn’t supposed to live, and did, ergo a miracle. Just those words, the long story, have given me strength in life at time when I really needed it. Hope that heaving cry cleared the air, like a good storm, and that you are soon feeling better. Write on . . .
if you really want to blow your own mind, think about how many times some human/creature reproduced in such a way to bring your specific consciousness into being as far back as time exists.
I think we all need to do that, Andra.
As sad as the celebrity deaths this week have been, one good thing has come from them: people now think of how precious their loved ones are. Maybe we’ll smile at each other more or stop taking each other for granted.
It is so easy to get caught up in the minutiae of life that we often forget about the big picture and the simple joy of Being.
You’re so right, Andra life indeed is a miracle. I’ve been making an effort to remind myself of the same things this week trying to put daily frustrations in their proper place at the bottom of my priority list in order to really appreciate the gift of family and friends.
Feeling shame can sometimes lead to an odd addiction, but for writers I think it is practicing being in character. If we didn’t feel all this stuff, how could we write it with any passion? How could we expect (demand?) Dear Reader to suspend disbelief? The shame will fade and be replaced by joy, by understanding, by fear, by anger, by pride, by stupidity…I mean…we’re human. All that stuff applies.
As always…I’m blessed to have you here to remind me. 🙂
Beautiful post, Andra. It is amazing how seemingly small twists of fate change our lives forever, and create new ones.
Well said. If there ever was a week in which I needed to be reminded to celebrate the wonder, it would be this one. Thanks. Your words inspire.
Amen to that sentiment, Andra! We just need a little re-adjustment every once in a while to remind us of how blessed we truly are. xo
My grandparents had a fixer upper home in the North Ga Mts (Hiawassee) and I spent a lot of time there between the years 1977 and 1989. I’m more of a beach person for vacations but I could live in the mountains, fulltime. Bobina and I have discussed it.
enjoy
It really is a celebration Andra – my brother really enjoyed your book and Ma Fightback is currently reading it and fearful that the end will be sad…..
You are definitely celebrating every moment. Otherwise you wouldn’t be in the North Carolina mountains!
Some people never get to this point in their realization that life is simply a grand adventure strung together with small, often over-looked blessings. I think you do that better than most, Andra. You maybe just don’t always recognize it as such. But you do! I’m so interested in the Mississippi setting of your new work. That will bring me very close to my own roots! 🙂